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【TOP 41】Spike Milligan Quotes - WhatsApp Status | Page-1

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I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Funny Irish Comedian

Listen, someone's screaming in agony - fortunately I speak it fluently - Spike Milligan Quotes

Listen, someone's screaming in agony - fortunately I speak it fluently

Agony

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. - Spike Milligan Quotes

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Funny Irish Comedian

It was a scurrilous attack. It was the dark side of Spike. And Norma said to me, `Do you want that to happen to you when you're dead?' And I said, no. - Spike Milligan Quotes

It was a scurrilous attack. It was the dark side of Spike. And Norma said to me, `Do you want that to happen to you when you're dead?' And I said, no.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy - Spike Milligan Quotes

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy - Spike Milligan Quotes

Money can't buy friends but it can get you a better class of enemy

Class Friends Or Friendship Funny

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. - Spike Milligan Quotes

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Funny Irish Comedian Marriage

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan Quotes

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Funny Irish Comedian

It's all in the mind, you know. - Spike Milligan Quotes

It's all in the mind, you know.

Funny Irish Comedian Mind

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Funny Happiness Irish Comedian

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard - Spike Milligan Quotes

Chopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard

And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it. - Spike Milligan Quotes

And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it.

Earth Funny Irish Comedian

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic. - Spike Milligan Quotes

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic.

Funny Influence Irish Comedian

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan Quotes

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Electricity Funny Irish Comedian

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? - Spike Milligan Quotes

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Funny Irish Comedian

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Funny Irish Comedian

When she saw the sign `Members only' she thought of him. - Spike Milligan Quotes

When she saw the sign `Members only' she thought of him.

I can speak Esperanto like a native. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Funny Irish Comedian

I speak Esparanto like a native. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I speak Esparanto like a native.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. - Spike Milligan Quotes

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Army Funny Irish Comedian

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in - Spike Milligan Quotes

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it's meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in

Fear

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Body Funny Irish Comedian

Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen - Spike Milligan Quotes

Well, we can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen

Just when I had made my today secure with safe yesterdays I see tomorrow coming with it's pale glass star called hope It shatters on impact And falls like splinters on cruel rain And I see the red oil of life running from my wrists onto tomorrows hea - Spike Milligan Quotes

Just when I had made my today secure with safe yesterdays I see tomorrow coming with it's pale glass star called hope It shatters on impact And falls like splinters on cruel rain And I see the red oil of life running from my wrists onto tomorrows hea

His vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum. - Spike Milligan Quotes

His vibrato sounded like he was driving a tractor over a ploughed field with weights tied to his scrotum.

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Funny Irish Comedian

Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Contraceptives should be used on all conceivable occasions.

Funny Irish Comedian

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife. - Spike Milligan Quotes

In India a farmhand was caught in the act with his cow. He said he had bad eyesight and thought it was his wife.

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Funny Irish Comedian

I'm a hero with coward's legs. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Funny Hero Irish Comedian

I'm a hero with coward's legs. I'm a hero from the waist up. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I'm a hero with coward's legs. I'm a hero from the waist up.

Hero

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Spike Milligan Quotes

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Funny Irish Comedian

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Only on the third class tourist class passengers' deck was it a sultry overcast morning, but then if you do things on the cheap you must expect these things.

Class

Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Money couldn't buy friends, but you get a better class of enemy.

Class Funny Irish Comedian

I told them I was ill - Spike Milligan Quotes

I told them I was ill

My manager, Norma, was trying to get me to write it for at least 10 years and being the reclusive person I am, I wanted people to judge me for what they saw on the television, on the films or on the stage. And what I did apart from that was my own affair. So to write my autobiography was, to me, an anathema. - Spike Milligan Quotes

My manager, Norma, was trying to get me to write it for at least 10 years and being the reclusive person I am, I wanted people to judge me for what they saw on the television, on the films or on the stage. And what I did apart from that was my own affair. So to write my autobiography was, to me, an anathema.

You silly twisted boy. - Spike Milligan Quotes

You silly twisted boy.

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the

A man once asked to shake hands with me, the "greatest Englishman who ever lived." I replied, "F**k off, I'm Irish."

Man

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. - Spike Milligan Quotes

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Funny Irish Comedian

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. - Spike Milligan Quotes

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Funny Irish Comedian

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